To Jerkface, With Love, Runt
by desert anbu
Summary: AU What to get for the man who has everything... KaiOC


I've been playing with Riley's character lately – with assistance from **Kerrie-chan**, **Silverwolverina**, and **Kuri Quinn** – and this is what I've come up with. Her personality hasn't exactly changed, I've just fine-tuned what I already had. But I like how it's turned out.

A little birthday story to compare relationships.

Enjoy! And please review!

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_To Jerkface, With Love, Runt_

_-- Midnight Insanity --_

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Riley Taylor stood beneath the streetlight and tilted her head to watch the snow fall from the darkened skies, the tiny flakes catching on her long lashes and melting on her pink cheeks. Slender brows furrowed and she moved her gaze to watch the people milling around the shopping center with bags and/or children in hand, clothed in thick coats, scarves, hats, and gloves. The shops were alight with Christmas merriment, each proudly displaying their holiday products and the smiling faces of satisfied customers and employees. Ribbons and bells, reindeer and mistletoe, sleighs and evergreen… 

The corner of her mouth tilted into a look of exasperation and she let out a breath that escaped her lips in the form of a soft white ghost that soon disappeared from sight. Sixteen days until Christmas and what was she looking for? A birthday present. Not something wrapped in silver and gold and adorned with bows and ribbon, but something that she could stuff in a box and leave on the table for him to find.

Riley pushed off the streetlight and stuffed her hands in her pockets, following the crowd and eyeing the objects in the windows to see anything that might suit. She had already gone through all of the sports stores, the department stores, even the grocery store and had found nothing. An agitated tick appeared on her brow and her dark eyes narrowed. _Stupid cad is so hard to shop for… He's got everything he wants and then some and he doesn't bloody like _anything_… Don't even know why I bother._

Someone bumped into her and she stumbled, whipping her head around to snap a quick retort only to find that he was already gone. Her hand lifted to brush the stray strands of hair from her face and behind her ear and then her index finger touched the ring. She absently twisted it around her finger as she walked, more mindful of where she stepped now because she really hated her personal space being intruded upon. It was warm to the touch and the tiny ridges of the intricate design caught on the pad of her finger.

_Wait…_

Ignoring those around her, Riley stopped abruptly and pulled the ring from her finger, turning it so she could read the inscription along the inside. She had only worn it for three months so the engraving was still intact. Instead of the traditional engraving that consisted of the newlywed's names, only his surname had been inscribed, along with the date of their wedding. In his oh-so-subtle way he had clearly stated that she belonged to him and, despite the numerous pranks and wisecracks, she had yet to get back at him for it.

The corners of her lips turned upward in a triumphant smirk and she turned on her heel and walked off to a store she had passed by an hour before.

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_Not back yet…_ Riley swung her legs over the edge of the chair and dropped the bag of roasted nuts she had purchased from a street vendor on her stomach to leave both hands free to cradle her cup of hot cider. Now clad in a comfortable pair of fleece pajama pants and a long-sleeved shirt – which was far too big for her – that she had stolen from her husband's wardrobe because all of hers had gone missing, she was warm and comfortable and ready to wait until his return. 

The gift had been placed in a small box that had remained unwrapped and then left on the coffee table in the sitting room, although now it had found a companion in her empty cider mug.

"Waiting for me?"

_Stupid cad…_ Riley rolled her eyes and leaned back in her seat with an air of apathy. "As if." Then, lifting a brow in amusement, she added, "Looking for me?"

"You wish." There was the rustling of fabric as he removed his coat and tossed it on the back of the couch, dropping down to take a seat with the usual Hiwatari grace that irked her to no end.

Riley snorted. "In your dreams, Jerkface."

She didn't have to look to see that irritating smirk on his face. "Touché, Runt."

Instead of replying, she ignored him and stood, pushing her tangled hair over her shoulder in a vain attempt to get it out of her eyes. "Do me a favor and drop dead before tomorrow morning." She picked up the box and tossed it carelessly into his lap, yawning as he picked it up.

"A gift?" He almost sounded skeptical.

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm only giving it to you 'cause granddaddy Volty will throw a fit if I don't do something for your twenty-first."

She watched out of the corner of her eye as he lifted the lid of the box and removed a layer of tissue paper to reveal the gift within. A tiny smirk had formed on the corner of her mouth the moment he had realized it was his birthday gift and it only broadened as he pulled out a silver ring looped within a long matching chain. A pale brow lifted in bemusement and he ran the tip of his finger over the smooth surface of the ring and then he found the inscription.

She didn't bother to watch the rest and instead turned and left the room to go to bed. His expression upon reading the inscription and then the card had been enough.

_Taylor – September 5th, 2004_

_To Jerkface,_

_Ha._

_With love,_

_Runt_

Her smirk grew and she licked her finger, drawing an invisible one in the air. _Point for Riley._

The End

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:3 Please review! 

-- MI


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